Note: movie ratings are out of a possible ***** as follows:

* is lousy
** is ok
*** is good
**** is very good
***** is outstanding

August 15, 1999
by He Jung Kim

The Blair Witch Project

Ebert praised it; Siskel would probably have trashed it. For as much publicity and hype The Blair Witch Project received, the response to this independent, experimental, horror film is not only mixed but also conflicting. Created by two first-time filmmakers, Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez, The Blair Witch Project is a low-budget, faux documentary that supposedly chronicles the last days in the lives of three film students, who have mysteriously disappeared in the woods of Maryland in 1994. Despite the opening sequence claiming authenticity of what we’re about to see, don’t be fooled. This is a staged movie and all the three film students (who play themselves) are all alive and well. I actually met Joshua Leonard at the New York Film Academy in 1996.

Fixated on a local legend known as the Blair Witch, Heather Donahue recruits two of her friends, Michael Williams and Joshua Leonard, to join her on a film shoot she calls The Blair Witch Project. Equipped with a camcorder, 16mm-film camera and camping gear, the three eagerly set off to Black Hill Forest. As they track through the woods, they look like three teenagers at summer camp telling jokes and sneaking cigarette breaks. Yet once they set up tent at night, strange childlike voices are heard around them and it becomes clear that they are being surveyed by an unseen presence. When they lose the only map they’ve brought, they desperately search in daylight for a way out of the forest. But with each unsuccessful attempt, they are forced to lay awake at night in fear and agonizing over the various unexplained events that occur in the darkness.

Alternating between film and video, there is definitely a sense of rawness to the footage we see. Also, everything the three film students capture on camera is hand-held and is recorded mostly while walking or running in terror through the forest at night. For some viewers, this panic-stricken, erratic camera movement created the horror in this film. Though the jerky footage shows nothing concrete about the strange presence in the forest, it ignited the wild imagination of some viewers and horrified them. For others (myself included), the cameras could have been used more effectively. They could have been the eyes that saw things the students refused or were unable to see in their petrified state. Even if it were just a slight movement of light between the branches as the students ran out their tent, it would have made me quiver at what I may or may not have seen. Then there are those viewers who found this cinema-verité-camera style all too disorienting and were too nauseated to concentrate on the film. Regardless, like all things controversial or criticized, this *** film continues to make headlines and is making two new filmmakers a lot of money!

Mystery Men

Based on the Dark Horse comic series, Mystery Men is a hilariously funny comedy containing some of the most unlikely superheroes in comic history. Directed by Kinka Usher (better known for his catchy Taco Bell commercials), Mystery Men gathers a group of odd underdogs and turns them into sympathetic and hugely entertaining superheroes who fight evil not with lethal weapons but with clumsy defiance and goofy tactics.

Ben Stiller is an undereducated, junkyard worker by day but Mr. Furious by night. When he gets angry, his eyes water, his heart races, his veins palpate and well, that’s about it. Hank Azaria plays the Blue Raja, a middle-aged mama’s boy who still lives at home and secretly practices strategic fork throwing to defeat evil. William H. Macy agonizes his wife with his belief that he has a special gift as the Shoveler. The vest he wears may be borrowed, but he seeks to prove to his family that his combative shoveling talent is real. When the best-known superhero of Champion City, Captain Amazing (Greg Kinnear), is captured by his arch nemesis, Casanova Frankenstein (Geoffrey Rush), this trio of wannabes hold an audition for superheroes in hopes of rescuing Captain Amazing. Enter three other supposed superheroes: Janeane Garofalo as the Bowler who strikes with her father’s embalmed skull, Paul Reubens as The Spleen who is cursed with an intoxicating flatulence, Kel Mitchell as the Invisible Boy who becomes invisible only when others aren’t looking at him, and finally Wes Studi as The Sphinx who educates the group with inspirational rhetoric.

Though the special effects in this movie are extravagantly intense, it’s the outrageous actions of these characters that bring amazement as well as laughter to the theater. Cassanova Frankenstein is wicked and masterful in his evilness and seems undefeatable in the hands of The Mystery Men. That is, unless they resort to unforeseen tactics such as farting at close range and temper tantrums that suddenly bring about "bionic" powers, to name only a few. The evil fighting scenes are incredibly funny precisely because of the goofiness and clumsy mistakes made by the second-class superheroes. Even if you’re not a fan of comic book adventures, you’ll enjoy Mystery Men for the witty characters and the fast-paced action and dialogue which accompany them. Mystery Men is a *** comedy that guarantees to make you both shake your head and laugh uncontrollably at its silliness.

Drop Dead Gorgeous

First-time director Michael Patrick Jann presents Drop Dead Gorgeous, a mock documentary exposing the ugly and all too tacky side of beauty pageants. Set in Mount Rose, Minnesota, a small group of film school grads introduce us to the ten teenage contestants vying for the title of Sarah Rose American Teen Princess. The film opens with the townspeople commenting on the importance of this pageant and Mount Rose is clearly portrayed as a small, Lutheran town filled with gun-happy, trailer-trash, Fargo-accented underdogs desperately seeking a ticket out of their maladjusted environment. Though it is quite obvious that Drop Dead Gorgeous is a satirical comedy, you may not be ready for some of its blatant political incorrectness that pokes fun of mental and physical handicaps, visible minorities, anorexia and paedophilia, to name a few.

Amber Atkins (Kirsten Dunst) may be trailer-trash but she’s terribly good-hearted and talented. While her beer-guzzling, foul-mouthed mother (Ellen Barkin) sets hair in her trailer, Amber washes dishes at the school cafeteria in the day and practices tap dancing while she paints makeup on corpses at the city morgue at night. She is the only contestant talented enough to win the pageant but everyone knows the contest is rigged to crown Becky Leeman (Denise Richards), the daughter of the richest family in town. Becky is also the daughter of a former Sarah Rose Teen Princess, Gladys Leeman (Kirstie Alley), who just happens to be the organizer of the pageant. Becky and Gladys will stop at nothing to eliminate the competition, which leaves Amber fearing for her life.

Drop Dead Gorgeous is scripted by Lona Williams (co-executive producer of The Drew Carey Show), who succeeds in creating very bizarre characters and some outrageously funny storylines. One of the funniest scenes in the movie involves Ellen Barkin’s character, who becomes disfigured when a house fire permanently molds a beer can into her hand. Though highly politically incorrect, you’ll also burst into laughter as the departing Teen Princess, now dazed and lifeless from a year of anorexia, lip-synchs her farewell song from a wheelchair before passing on the crown. Even though the overall acting is strong and entertaining, I found that some jokes ran too long and that there was overuse of many gags. Beauty pageants as well as small town mentality are magnets for mockery, but at times Jann and Williams try too hard to say it all in one movie. Some of it worked, other parts were overkill. Had they paid more attention to editing, the final punch line may not have been so half-hearted. The film definitely ran out of steam in the last ten minutes and we were left feeling cheated of a final laugh from this ** comedy.

Dick

It is officially recorded in the history of the cola wars that Richard Nixon was the first American President to bring Pepsi Cola into the White House. Having committed such a grave insult to Americana, it’s no wonder that Hollywood ridicules the 25^th anniversary of Nixon’s resignation from the White House with its release of Dick, a satirical look at the mysteries surrounding the Watergate scandal. Directed by Andrew Fleming and written by Sheryl Longin, Dick is a very detailed comedy that mocks politics and politicians alike. Starring two up-and-coming, teenage actresses, Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams, as the Clueless-type teenagers who innocently expose President Nixon’s involvement in the secret tapings inside the Democratic national headquarters, Dick is a teen satire that seems to cater to an audience more familiar with the significance of Dawson’s Creek than that of Watergate. In fact, unless you have a very detailed memory of Nixon, Watergate and all the participants in this infamous scandal, some of the references and comic portrayals in this movie may seem a bit out in left field.

Much of the humor in Dick comes from the absurd notion that two giddy teenage girls can infiltrate the White House and outwit the President and his advisors, simply through their naivete and wholesome teenage behavior. For example, when Arlene (Michelle Williams) develops a crush on Nixon, she sings him a love song (Olivia Newton-John’s, "I Honestly Love You") and accidentally erases 18 ½ minutes of the Watergate recordings. Moreover, when Betsy (Kirsten Dunst) and Arlene get lost during a tour of the White House, they stumble upon a room where The President’s aides are shredding evidence and counting the payoff money. Nixon’s paranoia gets the best of him and he makes the girls the official White House dog walkers. Filled with gratitude, Betsy unknowingly bakes pot cookies that end up being shared by Nixon and Leonid Brezhnev. The two leaders get high and they sign a nuclear peace treaty.

The acting is fair and much of the credit goes to Dan Hedaya as Nixon. Hedaya not only physically resembles Nixon, but he masters Nixon’s awkward gestures and mannerisms. Kids in the Hall’s Dave Foley (as Bob Haldeman) and Bruce McCulloch (as Carl Bernstein) as well as SNL’s Will Ferrell (as Bob Woodward) also lend the right amount of quirkiness to this comedy. But, unless you’ve actually seen the real characters in a news footage, it’s hard to evaluate their impersonating skills. Maybe I’ve missed the point of this political satire, but I found it rather nonsensical and only slightly entertaining. Dick gets a sad * rating.

The Thomas Crown Affair

In a recent interview on Entertainment Tonight, Pierce Brosnan proudly denounced all rumors that a "butt double" was used during his love scenes with Rene Russo in his new film, The Thomas Crown Affair. He also admitted his fears of being typecast exclusively in 007-ish roles and said he would retire from Bond movies before he turns 50. Despite what Brosnan said, he teamed up with action-film director John McTiernan (Die Hard, The Hunt for Red October) to play Thomas Crown, an incredibly wealthy and suave businessman. Like James Bond, Crown is charming, masterly and an irresistible bachelor. The only difference between these two characters is that Crown isn’t an agent for the British Intelligence; he isn’t armed with state of the art weaponry nor does he kill. Yet The Thomas Crown Affair still remains a spy-action-romance flick minus the adrenaline-pumping chase scenes and violence.

The plot of this movie is quite simplistic. Bored with his wealth and status, Thomas Crown considers theft a challenging sport that breaks the monotony of his affluence. When he ingeniously steals a Monet painting from New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art, no one suspects Crown to be the thief. That is, until the museum’s insurance officer, Catherine Banning (Russo) enters the scene. Armed with three-inch heels, a garter belt and an attitude domineering enough to consider a lethal weapon, she prances her way into the investigation headed by detective Michael McCann (Denis Leary), and she immediately directs her suspicions toward Thomas Crown. Though detective McCann is bothered by Banning’s involvement in the case, Banning convinces him that her sex appeal is the only way to trap the thief.

What follows is predictable. Catherine, though strong and detached at first, fast transforms into a love-stricken girl who jeopardizes her own future in hopes of capturing the heart of a well-known, commitment-phobic womanizer. Crown, though he thrives on his bachelorhood, miraculously has a change of heart and starts considering a soulmate. A good third of the film is a montage of scenes showing the suddenly sappy couple on extravagant escapades to exotic, remote places. Crown and Banning are so giddy and wide-eyed at each other that if it weren’t for their heated and very revealing sex scenes, the romance in this film would be very difficult to endure. Despite some clever twists in the plot, if you’ve seen Entrapment starring Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones, you’ve pretty much already seen all that happens in this *½ remake of Norman Jewison’s 1968 original. Jewison’s version stars Faye Dunaway, not as Crown's psychiatrist (as in McTiernan's remake) but as the seductive Vicki Anderson (Russo's character only with a different name). I’ve seen Dunaway heat up the screen with Warren Beauty in Bonnie and Clyde and I predict that renting the original on video would have been a better investment.

Deep Blue Sea

The trailers for Deep Blue Sea misrepresented this marine-action thriller as yet another Jaws wannabe. Without actually seeing the film, one might wonder what Samuel Jackson was thinking when he signed for the lead role. Afterall, Jackson’s star is on the rise and this fish movie looked like it was going to fry. Well, the filmmakers get the last laugh here. Director Renny Harlin (The Long Kiss Goodnight, Diehard 2) obviously understands that the 90’s movie audiences not only enter the theaters with a heightened appreciation for filmmaking, but that they also express an increasing demand for innovation and originality in modern films. Deep Blue Sea is a rare-summer treat that takes an old story and makes it fresh again. In fact, there’s a twist thrown into the middle so surprising and shocking that it had the audience (which I was a part of) laughing and gasping at what they just saw. Ample scenes with legs dangling and limbs severed will make many scared to go in the water again. Thomas Jane (Boogie Nights) makes an impressive appearance here as the macho shark-hunter and proves himself a destined star in the near future. This shark flick is a boatload of summer fun worth ***.

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